Pieces
by friendsforever0165
Summary: After Alma died, Kanda felled into darkness. Until he meet Allen in a school project that will force him to learn about him. Allen has cancer and has a little time left to live With Kanda, will his life be meaniful & be able to pull him out of darkness
1. Chapter 1

I know I have some unfinish fanfiction's still going on but right now all Yullen fanfiction's are the only one's that are not on Hitaus. Meaning only this and Why can't school teach us love? is my main concern right now.

Sorry for all grammar mistakes. I tried to keep it to fix all of the mistakes but I have horrible grammar.

**EDIT February 13, 2010:** I fix up the chapter a little bit. Since this is chinese new year is starting up I wanted to fix something from the year behind. So here it is. I notice all the grammar and horrible spelling and added a few things. No major changes tho

D . gray man does not belong to me. It only belongs to Hoshina. the only thing that belongs to me in this fanfiction is the plot movement in here

* * *

Kanda strolled down the streets. It's been ten years since Allen's death. Being sixteen doesn't mean you don't know love. Or you don't know if anything was real. Sure it was tough to deal with his lung cancer and the understand meant of his heart. But that didn't stop him or Allen from loving each other. Sure, sixteen seem young but what about seven? Alma and himself weren't really together. At such a young age they didn't really do anything, it could have been one sided for all he knows. But when Alma died, Kanda felled into darkness for nine years till he meet Allen. For some reason all of the people he truly loved dies. All of them had moved away from his gasp. Looking up at the rainy sky, he remembers the day he met Allen Walker. At that time, moyashi was never his.

(10 years ago)

Kanda didn't care about this stupid project. He wanted to throw this piece of shit away. _Who cares about this person?_ He wanted to do this buddy project alone. But a buddy project means two or more students. Of course he get's paired up with a lower classman who was always sick. _What was his name? _He asked himself. _Allen....Walker? _Today the boy had came in for some reason. Looking around the class room, he found this ''Allen Walker''. His eyes widen when he realize what he saw. This ''Allen" seems so frail. The boy is talking to Lenalee Lee and Lavi Bookman. His fragile body is in a wheel chair. His body was thin enough to be carry by a ten year old alone. His hair was just a few color lighter than his skin. The pale skin made him stood out like a black sheep compare to the whole class. But he was smiling like nothing was wrong with him.

"Allen-kun. Your partner is over there. Do you want me to push you over there?" Kanda heard Lenalee ask the boy. Kanda saw Allen talk but he couldn't hear a word from Allen. Moving his hand, he saw the weird arm and scar face. He didn't move when Allen had roll his way to him.

"Are you Kanda Yu?" Allen asks. His voice was barely above a whisper. Kanda "didn't" take notice of the boy, Lenalee just gave the boy a small nod. 'Thank you Lenalee. Don't worry and go back to Lavi." He responded to her, again, not above a whisper. Kanda narrow his eyes, only to be widen again. Allen didn't even bother to ask for help. This project was to be done in partners. It wasn't hard if they work together. It was a project that will take the whole school year. Two essays to be written. One in the beginning about their first impression and one in the end of what they learn about that person. Meaning they have to become friends of some sort.

''Hey Moyashi. What are you writing? We haven't started." Kanda asked. Allen turn to face Kanda when he finish writing something and smiled.

"We got started when we meet each other." Kanda narrow his eyes. He didn't get this boy. He seems fine. Yet he looks so frail. Suddenly Kanda felt the urge to protect him, just like he wanted to protect his Alma. But he lost that chance nine years ago. Feeling someone's hand on his, he look up to see Allen's hand. His silver eyes glitter with sadness. "You must be sad. I'm sorry if i reminded of you of something sad.

"Huh? What are you talking about Moyashi?"

"Moyashi? I'm just stating the fact." Allen explain calmly. Turning back to the paper he started to write again.

* * *

Kanda picked up his books, he didn't even bother wait for Allen. He didn't want to know what class he was having next or if they are going to start knowing each other. He didn't care about this project. Looking back he saw Lenalee and Lavi were helping Allen leave class. Most of the students had begun crowding around Allen, asking questions of how come he came back. Where was he? And why did he disappear? With that loud noise, no one can hear Allen even if they wanted too.

"Yu!!" Lavi called to Kanda.

"Don't call me that baka usagi!" Kanda snap. As Kanda pulled Mugen out, Lenalee block Kanda's way so no one got hurt. Kanda made sure the sword didn't touch Lenalee. He didn't want to be call down my Komui to hear him talk about his little sister. But he made sure it was closer to Lavi.

"Kanda! Allen's here!" Lenalee shouted. Kanda didn't see what's wrong. Lenalee never stood in the way of him and Lavi. Maybe when Lavi could be physically damage but Kanda always made sure of that. Narrowing his eyes to see Lenalee was serious. Why was she protecting Allen? Allen pulled Lenalee's school uniform sleeve, catching her attention to turn to face Allen. Her lips turn into a deep frown. Opening her mouth to speak again, she closed it when Allen spoke before her. "Allen what are you talking about? You know about your condition. You should still be in the hospital." _Hospital? _Kanda thought. Kanda didn't understand. What is Lenalee talking about?

"Che." Placing mugan back down, he walked away. He didn't want to make anything complicated. Just hang out with the kid a few times. Ask a few questions then the project will be finish. But of course he will make it seem more in depth. The less time with the kid, the happier Kanda will be. For some reason, Allen had given Kanda a weird feeling when Allen told him he was sad.

* * *

So how was the first chapter o.o???

Lenalee and Lavi barely spoke in this chapter. Idk about the rest of the story. Don't worry about the Yullen. It will come in later but they must bond. a relationship can't start right off the bat. I don't really believe in that you will fall in love when you only saw them once. I believe that you might think you become friends or have some sort of relationship w/ that person when you meet that person once.

I know the chapter is really short. But half of it was me typing. I like to write the stories out first then type it so i can stop and think.

If someone is kind enough to **beta read** **_this chapter_** and send me this chapter that would have less grammar errors, I would love you. Please and thank. Just tell me in the reviews if you want too. I won't give you a time limit on how long you have to beta read the chapter. And for someone to **_beta read this fanfiction_** as well. Plz and Thank you

Plz review. Reviews decides on how fast I fast i update and if i should write the next chapter or not. alot of reviews make me believe this story is good. little to no reviews make me believe this story is bad


	2. Breath into me

Thanks for the all reviews, favorite and story alerts ^.^...  
Thank you SeiHi L. for beta reading this.

Sorry for any mistakes that are still left in here but I didn't have time to double double check but I think SeiHi fixed all the mistakes.

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Chapter 2

Breath into me

Rolling out into the cold air, Allen slowly breathes in the fresh air. Since the accident, his lungs couldn't take anymore damage. He wanted to go to Lenalee's or Lavi's but imposing wasn't a good idea to him but Cross was definitely smoking in their apartment again. _Allen you can come over whenever you want._ Their voices echo in his mind. Allen sighed. _It's been a good three years already._ Allen thought. Rolling toward his house, he smiled grimly.

Kanda pulled his bag over his shoulder. The kendo stick on his die. He didn't have anything to do today, not that he wanted to do anything. Looking to his side he noticed Allen was rolling south of the regular neighborhood. It was the road to the farthest from the school. Most kids don't go down that road unless it was for a job or to hang out after school when they had nothing to do. Allen sighed making Kanda narrow his eyes. Watching Allen continue to town, Kanda decide to follow him. They passed many stores and the major mall. For some reason, the walk was pleasant for Kanda. When he notices they were passing the park he stopped. There were two parks in this town. One near the school and the other was farther of the market place. Meaning an almost 20 minute walk already and Allen wasn't stopping anytime soon.

"Moyashi. How far do you live?" Allen flinched. Looking behind him, he turned his wheel chair to face Kanda.

"Kanda." A short breath was taken. "Why are you here?" Allen asked. Kanda barely heard his soft voice. Allen was looking around them as if he just committed murder on someone. "Do you need anything?" He ask hastily.

"Why do you live so far from the school?" Kanda asked. Allen bit his lip. He didn't want to make anyone worry over him. "Oi. Moyashi."

"It's Allen, Bakanda…. This is average. I can't get to my house by train so I walk." Allen murmured. Kanda narrow his eyes. That was true but for some reason he felt Allen needed help. But he could never help anyone, even if he got the chance. Allen sighed, catching Kanda's attention once again. "Do you want to come to my house?" Kanda frown. He didn't want to go but his body didn't listen to him and gave a small nod. Beginning to walk again, they continue another ten minutes. Kanda saw the apartment complex when they passed some houses. Inside the apartment wasn't that nice, walking to Allen's, a smoky linger was scented. Beer and wine bottles litter the floor, but everything else was orderly. "I'm home." Allen spoke as loud as he could, which was slightly above a whisper.

"How come you have a soft voice?" Kanda ask out of curiosity.

"Idiot son, you're home already? Why aren't you with that Lenalee girl or the stupid Lavi? Who is this girl?" Cross cut Allen off before he could answer. Kanda narrow his eyes on Cross's sight.

'I'm home." Kanda notice that he didn't call him father or dad yet. "This is Kanda Yu. Lenalee and Lavi are busy today." Allen explained. "We won't bother you so don't worry about us." Cross gave him a 'hmp' and walk to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he grab a bottle and some wine.

"Isn't it too early to drink?" Kanda asked.

"Kanda. It's alright. This is actually late for him. We will be in my room." Allen stared roughly to Cross. He light a cigarette up, not taking notice of Allen grabing Kanda's arm and heading toward his room. Seeing Allen's room, his eyes widen. Compare to the rest of the house, this was a normal room. Well more like a guest room. Nothing was hanged up on the wall, the desk was clean expected the text books open. The bed was made perfectly. The closet has barely any clothes in it. It seems that Allen didn't live off much. "Kanda. Do you want anything?"

"No I don't need anything. Why is your father drinking so early?" Kanda ask. "And smoking?" Allen cringed .

"Something he couldn't get rid of. Cross is my uncle. Well he is by adoption. Mana, my father, died in a car accident five years ago." Allen placed his bag down. "My uncle and I made it. Only Cross got the better end of the deal." Allen darkly said. Kanda didn't understand what he was saying.

"The story should be told in a different day. I'm surprised that you didn't hear the story from Lenalee or Lavi. Or the teacher. They sure like to talk about injured students." Allen sighed. "Do you want to do anything? I'm sure my house is boring." Allen suddenly started coughing. Not like the regular cough he has, but the gagging ones like cat's spitting out a fur ball. Kanda didn't know what to do. "Don't…wo..rry..thi..s.."

"What's wrong Moyashi?" Allen continue to cough as if he didn't hear Kanda.

"Stupid son." Cross barged into the room and grabbed Allen and forced him into the kitchen. Grabbing the inhaler and the medicine, he filled the cup with water. He forced the medicine and water down Allen's throat. Taking the inhaler next, his coughing subsided. The frail boy looked down at the floor. "How many times did this happen today?" Cross snap. Kanda narrow his eyes again. _This happens regularly?_ He thought.

"Three. One before you left and one after you left. And one just now."

"Tch. You just left the hospital but you are going back."

"No! I just got out. Not until it gets really bad." Allen shouted. _I don't have much time left. _"No. Not yet." _Please._ Kanda open his mouth but closed it quickly. He didn't understand it, why were they fighting? Why was Allen just coughing?

"Moyashi. Why were you coughing?"

"Stupid son. At least get someone to help you. No wonder you were still n that room. A useless friend…" Cross mumbled. Kanda frown. It wasn't his fault that he didn't know anything. Well he could have least pay attention to his teacher's speeches about other students.

"Kanda. I think you should leave now. I'll tell you later." Allen said. Kanda knew Allen was lying. He didn't want to explain anything. But Kanda played along, leaving Allen's house, but he headed toward Lenalee's house.

Damn it. Kanda thought. His thoughts remembering what happened with Alma. They were just kids but Kanda knew they had loved each other. Even if he did, Alma's death ended everything. Allen reminded him about Alma, the fragileness that made him seem he would break, his kindness that won't let anyone unhappy, the brightness that can break through anyone's darkness expects his. But Allen didn't die yet, he didn't die from a gun shooting. He needed to figure out what's wrong with the white haired boy. So he won't lose the chance to protect him.

"Kanda?" Lenalee questioned. Kanda looked up. Lenalee was still in her uniform like he was. But her hair was down. "This is a rare sight to see. Why are you here?"

"Tell me about Moyashi." He demanded. Not ask but demanded. Kanda clenched his fist. He didn't want to open his heart to Allen but for some reason he was.

"What do you mean? I'm sure Allen will-"

"Bullshit. Like hell he would. He's hiding something." Kanda snap.

"Kanda. I'm not in the place to tell you anything. If Allen wants you to know he will tell you." Lenalee said. Kanda frowned, he didn't like that answer.

"Then explain the car accident from three years ago." Lenalee's face darkened. Giving a sigh, she pushes her hair back from her face.

"Mana Walker, Allen's adopted father, and Cross Marian, his uncle, were coming home from a short family trip. Allen was ten back then. When they were at a cross road, a truck had flipped over and rolled onto their car. They were draged along with the truck and set on fire. Mana had died instantly, and Allen saw him die right in front of him. His brown hair was stain in Mana's blood. His arm, now almost burnt and almost useless, and the scar on his face came from that accident. " Lenalee explain. Kanda's eyes widened. "Cross on the other hand was left with some burnt skin only." Kanda then realized what Allen ment with Cross getting the better end of the deal.

"So Allen was transfered to Cross? Wait brown hair?"

"His hair was dyed permanently white. He didn't want to see Mana's blood in his brown hair. Cross wasn't the best choice to live with. Those two years after that accident really impacted Allen today. Since-- never mind. That's all I can say. The rest is Allen's story."

How come Allen told you guys?"

"Kanda. Why do you care?" Lenalee asked. This was sure intersting to her. Looking at Kanda, he didn't answer. And realization hit her. "He's like Alma right? Kanda, you were seven back then. You didn't know Alma would had died in that store. He just happened to be there at a place in a wrong time."

"He isn't like Alma. Moyashi got to live longer. But Alma was a regular kid."

"Kanda!" Lenalee scold. Kanda looked back up to Lenalee. "No matter how you look at it, Allen is simillar to Alma, and Alma's gone. I know you love him but Allen doesn't need protection. He doesn't like to be treated differently. Alma didn't need to be protected either."

"Che. You and that baka usagi." Kanda didn't want to talk about Alma. He died nine years ago. When they were seven years old. He didn't need to talk about that day.

Allen sat down next to Cross. He mange not to get into the hospital again. Over the three years, his lungs had been acting up. He couldn't be reckless like three years ago. Just months ago he could talk like a regular person. Just a year ago he could run. Two years ago he could do sports. He loved his life each year but it was slowly being strip from him. His goals and dreams seemed farther away then before. Yet Allen wasn't sad.

"Idiot son, you know you don't have much time left." Cross bruntly explained. Allen smiled sadly.

"I know. But stop smoking and you might be able to help me live longer." Allen shot back at Cross knowing Cross would never stop smoking.

"Are you going to the trip to Kyoto?" Cross asks.

"yeah."

"Stupid Son. That fresh air should do some good to you."

* * *

So? How was chapter 2? Sidenote: Check out my other Yullen fanfiction. Why can't school teach us love? this is an M so be careful.)

I tried to keep it bittersweet(idk if i did or not)

**_Plz review_** and tell me. If you have any questions or comments plz ask **in the reviews.**


	3. Shadows

Sorry. I know it's been a month since I last update. But I've been busy. It's near the end of my first semster for me. and I'm goin' on break. But it's not break. I have more projects than classes. (sad right) i'm really jumble up b/c of two hour delay for my school and pushed everything around. And Chinese new years is coming up meaning oh joy, family time. I dislike family time.

man does not belong to me

I can't remember if i got this back from my beta reader. If i didn't I"M SORRY FOR ALL THE MISTAKES AND MY BAD MEMORY!

* * *

Chapter 3

Shadows

Lenalee didn't slow down when she reached the school. She didn't stop till she got to the principal's office. Lavi and Bookman were there already when she walked in. Same with the main reason why there was there, Allen Walker. Lenalee frowned, this was an issue. Not a small issue but a rather large one.

"Allen, you can't go." The principal explains cutting straight to the point about the trip.

"Why? It's only for a week. The doctor says I can I go." Allen pouts. "I will be fine. My doctor has connections up in Kyoto. If I have an attack, Lavi knows what to do."

"No." Bookman sternly said. He wouldn't have care if his idiot grandson could save someone's life, he didn't want Allen to go either.

Kanda didn't know what to do. He had to finish the first part of the essay but it has to be in depth too. "No." He heard Bookman said. "You know your health Mr. Allen."

"It's going to be fine." Allen raised his voice but it was only a little.

"That's what you said three years ago! Now look how much you lost. You can't even walk for two minutes without running out of breath." Lenalee explains. "Komui-onii-san, don't let him go." Lenalee harped. She knew they were being unfair to Allen but this was for his health benefits.

"Allen. Lenalee does have a point. You just got another attack last week. They were happening more lately too. And somehow you got out of the hospital." Komui explains. Just in three weeks he usually had zero to one attack but now he gets one at least once a week.

"It's only to the-"

"Which is in Kyoto" Komui reminded Allen, cutting him off.

"How about this? If I don't have another attack within the next two weeks, can I go?" Komui reminds silent. He didn't want to answer that. If he didn't allow it, it would be unfair, if he did, he might regret it. "Komui?" Allen called Komui again. He wanted the answer. He knew he could hold back an attack if he wanted. He could take care of himself.

"Fine. If only if you don't. Even if a coughing outburst will get you off this trip." Komui explains. Outside Kanda clenched his fist. _Moyashi has a problem?_ He thought. Beginning to walk again, he hurries off to his first class.

(Later)

When Kanda sees Allen walking into the English classroom, their last class, his eyes narrow on the silver hair boy. His silver eyes were determined too win that bet. Lenalee on the other hand wasn't pleased. Lavi didn't have a say. Bookman didn't want him to bother with this problem. But Lavi didn't want to hold Allen back on this trip. If he wanted to, he could go. He didn't know what to do when he had an attack.

"Yu-chan. Are you going to Kyoto?" Lavi asks Kanda.

"Baka Usagi. Don't call me by that name!" Kanda shouted. Allen sighed, a rare sight. Allen was the one who would break the fight and hid his emotions when needed. It seems that Lenalee was still against that bet.

"Lenalee it's fine." Kanda heard softly. "So don't worry."

"Allen. No. You know how's your health condition. You just got out of the hospital. Do you want to go back in after the trip or on the trip?" Lenalee explained. Kanda flinches but hid his surprise when Lenalee shot him a look. "You don't want anyone to worry." Allen didn't look up to Lenalee. He didn't understand why wasn't he allow onto the trip. Like he said, there was a doctor there ready for him if needed.

"Lenalee. Stop telling me that I can't go. You should know how I feel too. If I don't go I know I will regret it. You know that." Allen snap, explaining loudly but began coughing shortly. _And you know that I hate doing that. Why is everyone treating me like this? _Allen thought. Lenalee didn't continue to fight with him. The fighting was going in circles but she knew that Allen didn't want to regret.

"Allen...." Lenalee began. She didn't want to go back to the hospital. No, not again.

Kanda didn't move when Lenalee looked at him again. This time it was full of worry. Kanda didn't have anything to say. Lenalee was Allen's big sister. Lavi was his big brother. He was just his partner in class. They had to worry about their little brother like their own family. But they didn't want to place him in a cage where they had to watch his every move 24/7. Opening his mouth might not help Allen in this situation.

"Lenalee. You know its moyashi to choose to how he lives. You shouldn't restrain him. Like you said, he doesn't need protection." Kanda explains. He didn't know what else to say. He shouldn't have open his mouth either but he did. He didn't know the boys condition that well. The only time he saw Allen suffer was yesterday and to him he could understand why they wouldn't want him too. He didn't see him before everything happened but it seems it was getting worse.

"Not if his condition worsens. He should still be in the-"

"Lenalee!" Allen shouted cutting her off. Allen immediately reached for his neck and gave a few coughs. "Don't...say more than...needed." Allen finished. Lenalee closed her mouth and gave a quick sigh. Walking away, Allen relaxed. "Thank you Kanda. Lenalee likes to look after me a lot."

"I can see." Kanda would have walked away. He wouldn't handle being controlled. _How could the moyashi live like that?_ Kanda thought. "You don't have to follow them."

"Usually they let me do things like vacations but everything is going downhill so everything starts being restricted one by one." Allen explains. _But time for me isn't slowing down._ "I don't want to sit around when I can do something." A smile was formed on Allen's lips. _How could he smile?_ Kanda thought.

"che. Baka Moyashi. You're going to regret being reckless later."

"I had stopped regret anything every since three years ago." Allen blandly stated. It was true that he stopped regretting three years ago. There isn't a point if you do something you don't want to do. But three years ago was as a different story. He acted irrational and sometimes acted up tight. Either way was not thoughtful. He **_was a musician, athlete and a student council. Now he was free and able to relax in life._**

"You have to regret something in the past three years." Kanda grumbles. Allen didn't say anything. What does he need to say? Like about that he did have some things to regret about and wish that something may never happen. Allen didn't regret anymore. Starting with that accident. That happened because it happened. They can't change what had happen. Sulking over the past didn't appeal to Allen. No, walking to the future was more like it. They both remain silent. There wasn't anything more to talk about. Both won't open up more than needed. They rather keep themselves hidden.

"Kanda. Want to go to the movies and hang out?" Everyone stopped. Allen rarely hanged outside of school with anyone anymore. That had stopped six months ago when it went down the hill. more. Kanda rarely hangs out with anyone but Lenalee and his 'best friend' Lavi. Kanda didn't have anything to say. He didn't have a reason to say no but he didn't want to go. No, that wasn't a reason. There was defiantly more to it then that. "Just nod or wave a hand fora yes." Kanda almost dropped dead. Those words were the same from _him_. Alma.

"Che. Fine." He responded when he got out of the short trance. He would not fall in love with _this_......moyashi. He couldn't handle seeing Alma again. Allen was bright, just like Alma. _No._ He thought. _Allen isn't Alma._

_( a few hours later )_

Kanda had arrived early. They set it as a dinner/movie that night. "Maybe" it can be taken as a man date. _Fuck this._ Kanda cursed. What men date? Kanda rather pleasure himself than admit to bonding time. Wait, he rather do neither. Yu Kanda does not do man dates. Not bonding time, no man dates, no friendship tests, nothing.

"Kanda." The soft voice of Allen startled him but gave Allen a cold stare instead. Allen just glared back with a smile. The very same smile that hid everything away from everyone. "Ready?"

"Stupid moyashi. Keeping me waiting."

"It's Allen. Lets start with that. Al-len!"

"Mo-ya-shi." Kanda pronounce instead making Allen frown. But he strolled away. "Oi. Moyashi."

"What place do you want to eat at? Olive Garden? Red Lobster? Fast food?" He questions to Kanda.

"Does it matter? Why don't we eat at the movie theaters?" Kanda asked. Allen shrugged. "Unless you hate their food there?" Allen laughed. He didn't hate the food. He just hate the cost there. So expensive. Four dollars for a drink when he could get it for a dollar somewhere else.

"Nah. I guess the atmosphere." Allen smiled again. His silver hair glitter as the sun disappears within minutes from the sky. Soon the clouds spitted the moon out too. Turning to face the blue hair man, his heart flinches. That look. The same look as nine years ago. The look was innocence yet full of knowledge and life.

"That's stupid." Was all he said. He wanted to say more. He wanted to hold him. But couldn't. He was a classmate that needed bonding for school. But Allen made it out of his way to hang out with Kanda. How could he take Allen into his protection? Allen was standing but his frail body will fall soon.

"No, it isn't." Allen said. " I don't know then. But eating in theaters doesn't seem proper to me. When I go with Lenalee or Lavi, we don't eat. They usually cook." Allen explained. It was true but he doesn't understand why he's telling the Japanese this. It wasn't like he could care. No, it was more like he wanted to tell and talk about his past. The man was easy to talk too.

"Che. So you want to cook? Or where do you want to eat? Just choose a fucking place."

"We don't have to eat." Allen concluded. It wasn't like he was hungry or on dyer need for food. He was never hungry at night these days. "It's not-"

"Now the moyashi has an eating disorder? Just whatever place you want right now." Kanda cut in.

"I don-"

"Then eat." Kanda order. He knew forcing Allen to eat won't solve a thing. The boy probably won't eat. If he wasn't hungry then what?" He didn't know.

"I'm not hungry though. And I don't have a disorder. I just don't want to eat." Allen explains. Kanda didn't want to believe him but he had no proof. "Come on. Movie starts in thirty minutes. I guess fast food then." Allen smiled, getting a shrug from Kanda, he take the answer as a yes.

The rest of the night was the same routine. Talking turns to arguing, and back to silence. And suddenly as some one had hit repeat, everything starts again. The movie was the only time they stayed quiet but in the end, they ditch the last 20 minutes of the movie. They stayed in the park fighting and occasionally talk about the day. But Kanda was being stubborn and didn't want to lose while Allen didn't understand him.

The moon soon light the park again. Since this was the farthest park, no street light were here. The two looked around in the late night. The farthest and oldest. Yet it was familiar to both as a childhood place. Silence was among them still. Something they barely had tonight. Kanda looked at Allen. His silver eyes were looking up at the stars. His white hair stood out like neon lights. His pale skin blend in with the night. He seem he was going to break any second but Allen had a strong expression. The one who didn't need protection but looks frail. When Allen smiled, he pointed out a constellation. His body lite up of happiness. He was a walking candle. That was the closest Kanda could think off. A candle could be knock down and burnt till it was gone but it will stay together unless a strong force pulls it apart. The candle was Allen, the fire is his will and the wax is his life. The fire was burning strongly and his life was being drained. But Allen is brightly burning still. Looking away Kanda sighed.

_It's so quiet_. Allen thought . Looking at Kanda, his face was making a scowl. Allen smiled and pointed to a constellation he just found. Not realizing it, he had started to study Kanda's face. The one who carries burden was printed on his face. He would had mock him of that but he didn't. Carrying burdens isn't fun but necessary sometimes. His tall figure could be seen in the darkness. But apathy sat down. Opening his mouth to speak but his ring tone shut up him. Not bothering to check who it was, he hanged up.

"Baka moyashi. Why did you hang up? That could habe been-" The cell began to ring again. Allen pulled his cell out and look to see it was Cross. Narrowing his eyes he picked up.

"Where are you idiot son?" Cross demanded.

"With Kanda at the park." Hearing Cross blow out smoke, Allen sighed again. He knew what time it was. Eleven pm. The time he had to go back home. From Eleven pm to Six am he had to be home.

"Come home. You know the rules." And just like that he hanged up.

"See." Kanda stated in a matter in fact tone. Allen looked away and Kanda notice his ad look. But he couldn't place why Allen looked so sad. Maybe confusion too. "Let's go before Cross won't shut up." On the way home, Kanda notice that Allen was stiff and quiet. It seem he didn't want to walk home with Kanda for some reason. Stopping at the apartment complex entrance, Allen turned around and smiled. A fake smile.

"Kanda. I see you tomorrow." Rolling his wheel chair to the elevator, Allen didn't look back up to see Kanda leave.

* * *

okay.....how was it? alot of mistakes right? um, i reread it like five times but you know me and spelling and grammar. they don't go on the same sentence.  
While I was writing this my favorite fictionpress writer(my heart is in ohio) which isn't on fictionpress anymore updates. So yeh, i'm happy b/c i want more. I love her story Chemistry.

sorry again to my beta reader if I didnt get a email back from you and I updated by accident.

**_EDIT: _**I just spent about another hour going over and over this story for mistakes. hahaha...I didn't use MS last time since I was doing it by hand and I typed it on a blank document here so I couldn't see if i had many spelling mistakes(I actually had alot when I copy and pasted it on MS) XD...sorry....

happy holidays anyways

plz review!!!!!!!!!! next chapter is goin to see be show well it's reviewed. since I can make the story go really sour or just plain bittersweet.


	4. Lost

Okay here is chapter4. I'm sorry for taking two days to type. One is b/c I need the laptop for spell/grammar check and two**. I was trying to find a fanfiction again. It's about Allen and kanda's child but no one was pregnant.** For some reason I can't find it any more T.T….

Anyways hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: If this belong to me….well…I will be enjoying making Allen and Kanda's past more unpleasant. I will force them to met later in life and have Allen be rape by Kanda so many times. But of course this is an T fanfiction so maybe kept in a long dark cell and wait a long time before Kanda falls in love with him.

* * *

Chapter 4

Lost

Two weeks pasted without a hitch. Just until tomorrow for the long awaited trip. Nothing was out of place. Cloths packed neatly. Extra items in the same bag but separated. Kanda zip the back up and gave a sigh. The partners have been hanging out after school more. They just stayed at the park, even if the weather was 30 degrees or lower. They stayed even if it was raining. Just under the trees. Not much talking went through them. Just fighting mostly but it wasn't as much as before. More like a playful fight of teasing.

Kanda finish packing his cloths. His father kept on pestering to buy gifts for the family. Why should he? Money wasn't the problem. It was just the will to buy his father some gifts weren't in his plans. That wasn't on his mind either. Whenever Allen talked about the trip, a bad feeling about it came to him. _What is this feeling? Misfortune? No, could it?_ Kanda thought.

Whenever Kanda tried to bring it up, Allen would stay quiet or change the subject. He tried it every day at the park but Allen wouldn't budge from keeping it a secret. Kanda tried harder each day and he knew he could talk on the airplane. Not only that but in the hotel room. Zipping his bag shut, Kanda frown. He was going to get the answer out of Allen sooner or later in the trip. It was better sooner than later. Closing his mid-night blue eyes, sleep took his mind away.

OOOOOOOO

Seven a.m. in the morning. Pass through the check in and securities and everything. With the ticket in his hand and ready to go, everything seems in place. But Allen stood out of the picture. He was coughing every other minute and the minute seems turn to seconds. Kanda didn't say anything still. Students began to file in as time passed. But Allen's coughing didn't subside but worsen. Kanda frown slightly more and got up. He wheeled Allen to a place where no one could see them easily. And just within those seconds a coughing fit happen. _So he was holding it in? _He fumbles for the bottle of water and medicine in the young boy's bag.

"Are you going to tell anyone?" Allen ask.

"It's none of my business right?" Kanda ask back. Allen shrug. Kanda knew he should tell someone but if he did, Allen would have to be pull away from the trip.

"Thank you Kanda." Allen says before rolling out of the bathroom. Not soon after, they boarded the plane. Each minute fill between them became awkward and unpleasant. They didn't know what to talk about or say about the incident. Students were taking, teachers complaining for them to quiet down and other annoying things in Kanda's eyes. Kanda scan the plane quickly and his eyes landed on Allen again. _Stupid Moyashi._ His eyes were half lidded making it painfully obvious that Allen wanted to sleep. Pulling his eyes away, everyone had found their seat. The seat belt light lite up, blinking a few times before it began to stare at everyone. Soon after the plan left off, Kanda took notice that Lenalee and Lavi were behind them.

"Baka Usagi." Lavi turn to face Kanda when he heard his nickname.

"Yu-chan. Yesssss." He says.

"Tell me about the moyashi illness." Silence... "Baka Usagi." Kanda growled. He wanted answers.

"It isn't in my place to tell." Lavi explains. Before Kanda cold aruge back, he felt Allen's head on his shoulder. His head flick back to see Allen had fallen asleep and now leaning against Kanda. His breathing was even out and calm. "Awwww. Moyashi-chan felled asleep!"

"Don't……Call…..Me……That……" Allen mumbles. _He sleeps talks?_ Kanda wanted to push Allen away but he couldn't. All he did was stare at Allen. He still sees the fragile look but he also had a strong look too. His pale skin made him look dead like that. Only his breathing told him he was alive. Kanda push the urge to pull Allen into his arms away. He couldn't. He knew Allen was strong and didn't need protecting. It wasn't in his place to do so. It could be Lenalee's or Lavi's, maybe Komui's but not his. He won't do anything unless he was asked.

ooooooooo

"Allen." Lavi tap Allen's shoulders while Kana got their bags out of the compartment. "Allen." Allen still didn't move. He kept on pulling away from Lavi. "Yu-chan. What did you do to Allen?" Kanda glare at Lavi but turn back to get the rest of the luggage. Now it was his fault that he won't wake up?

"Maybe he didn't get enough sleep. Carry him." Lenalee explain to Lavi, who was grabbing her bag and Lavi's book.

"Uhhh….Allen's Yu-chan's partner. So he should do that." Kanda glared at him again.

"Baka Usagi. If you want to carry these bags then-"

"Fine." Lavi gave in. He didn't want to carry Kanda's bag. If he dropped it, he would be dead. Picking Allen up, he pushed Lavi away. Finally, Lavi got him in a bridal style but Allen looked in pain and wanted to be place down. Kanda growl and grab Allen so he could carry him and the bags. Only then did Allen stop moving away. He unconsciously snuggle into Kanda's chest.

"It seems Allen prefers Kanda, Lavi." Lenalee chuckled at the sight. A sweet and innocent Allen that was asleep got Kanda carrying him. Lenalee just laughed at that thought. Many of his fan girls would envy him and want the sight of this now. She knew she was enjoying it as she walk out with the 'couple'. Komui stared at them.

"What's wrong with Allen?" Komui ask. He thought of Allen as his own son and welcome him like one. Allen was the only boy that Komui didn't kill when he hugged his sister other than Kanda. Now to mention it, she was friends with both Allen and Kanda for a long time now but this is the first year that all four friends hanged out.

"Moyashi's asleep. It seems he won't wake up. Give me his wheel chair." Kanda ask. He gently place their bag down and push Allen onto his back. His arm loops under Allen's legs as his arm hang over him. Picking their bags up again, he continue to walk. "Never mind. Where are we going now?" Komui just watch them go. Surprise that Kanda didn't dump Allen in the nearest chair on the bus. Allen was place in a chair next to him but he crawled onto Kanda's lap. "Oi. Moyashi." He growl. He didn't like clingy people and Allen was starting to be like one. "Oi. Baka Usagi. Get Moyashi off me. Now!" A growl came.

"Kanda. I think Allen likes you. He used to do that to Mana a lot." Kanda frown and stare at Allen's child-like face. Children seek for comfort. Even without trying he was doing something for the boy.

"What am I? A mother or father figure?" Kanda knew his choice of words was harsh but he didn't care. He peeled Allen off and walked up to the front and sat down. Allen whimpers and curled up oddly on the small chair. Lenalee looked at Lavi then Kanda and Allen last. It seems Kanda was beginning to be more confused.

Kanda sat down in the front. His mind in jumble, growling in frustration, he sigh. Why was Allen clinging to him, he didn't want to know why. He just wanted him to stop. He didn't want to get close to someone again. Not after what happen with Alma.

"Kanda." Lenalee says. She sat down next to him. "Do you not like Allen? There isn't a reason to distance yourself if you don't. Don't you find it dumb that you hold back so you won't get hurt again? Alma isn't here anymore." Lenalee explain. She wasn't there with Kanda, neither was Lavi, when Alma died. Allen probably doesn't have a clue about Alma. It was unfair for not getting a chance either way.

"It's none of your business." Kanda snap. Hearing a cough, his eyes turn to Allen. Allen was coughing again. "I don't care about the moyashi." Lenalee didn't know what to do with Kanda anymore. Reaching her hand over to Kanda she patted his shoulder. "che."

"Looks who's protecting and who's being protected." That was what Lenalee said before going back to Allen and Lavi. Kanda growl again. He didn't understand anything. What can he do? Allen was dying. He didn't want to see anyone die anymore. Hearing some rustling sound, his eyes narrow and turn around again. Allen was behind him leaning against his chair. His cheeks were flush and eyes were still sleepy. Why is he up if he can't walk far? His arm reach out just in case of Allen's legs will give up on him.

"Allen." Komui scold making the two look at him. "Why are you up?" Allen shrugged and sat down next to Kanda. In the seat that Lenalee sat in. "Allen." Komui wanted Allen to answer that question.

"I wanted to talk to Kanda but he wouldn't come to me." Allen explain. Simple and short. "Is that fine with you?"

Komui sigh and walked away. For the next twenty minutes neither spoke. Only Allen's breathing was heard to Kanda. Allen was looking outside while Kanda had his eyes closed. The two pair made everyone sit away from them. Their cold non-talk able aura effected everyone around them, afraid to break the ice. The teachers were just glad that they got some quietness in the rowdy teens. Allen sigh making everyone flinch. Kanda's eyes twitch. Why was everyone so tense? They could talk to his annoyance.

Pulling into the hotel, everyone had a silent relief wash over them. The boys were not looking forward to tonight. They didn't want a tense atmosphere to sleep too. Meaning they have to resolve this themselves. Mainly Lavi. He was friends with both, right? What better way to get a friend to resolve everything?

"Allen." Lavi called, making Allen react. Getting up, he walked slowly to Lavi. Kanda could see Allen wasn't use to walking anymore. His muscles down there were weak. "Wait. Just climb on my back Allen." Allen sighed and did what he was told. Only mumbling I'm sorry to Lavi. Kanda follow Lavi and Allen soon after with Lenalee. She only chuckle at Kanda again. She knew he was jealous of Lavi now.

Once everyone made it to the rooms, they meet once again n the front lobby. The old style hotel has a nice warm feeling to it. Only the down side was that, it was a cold drift of the weather. The teachers whistle to get the student attentions. They try a few times before it worked.

"Okay. Everyone is here. We have four days. Two days if for traveling. The rest of day is a free day. Be back by seven. Tomorrow is the museum. The day after that is team building and the rest of the day is free again. Everyone can leave at eight in the morning and be back by seven. Got it?" The kids nodded. Not many would probably remember that.

"Allen." Lavi ran up to Allen who was in the front. "Where do you want to go?" Allen shrug. "Do you want to eat something? It's twelve and you didn't have any snacks Allen. You're going to stay as my moyashi-chan right?" Allen looked at Lavi, wide eye. "Of course Allen will stay as my little brother." Lavi just laughed. Allen remained quiet.

"I don't know." Allen say. His voice was quieter than normal. "I never been this far from home in a long time. I just want to look around."

"It's fine. Do you mind that Lenalee and I got shopping?" Allen shook his head. "Just be careful okay?" Turning around, he faced Kanda. "Yu-chan go with Allen. I don't know what's wrong with you guys but you have to hang out more." Kanda growl. How many times he growl already of annoyance.

"It's none of your business if moyashi and I are fighting. Stop acting like a brother and mind your own business."

"Awwww…Yu-chan being mean. Just go with moyashi-chan. If you leave hi, he will have to stay here since he has to have someone with him all times." Lavi explain.

"It's not true. My name's Allen, Lavi." Allen sighed. "I can go by myself. It's not like Kanda has to be with me. I'm fine by myself."

"Absolutely not. The last time you were alone you fainted. Remember?" Allen remained quiet. Of course he remembers. It was one of the first attacks. It was the first big one too. That attack was the reason he couldn't talk loudly anymore. He was coughing all till it got worse and the fainted. Only a few minutes later, Lavi found Allen and rush him to the hospital.

"I can go with you. It doesn't matter." Lavi says.

"It does!" Lavi and Lenalee always place him first.

"Baka Usagi. Just go. I can go with him." Kanda snap. Lavi looked at Kanda again with a questionable look. "I can look after the baka moyashi." Lavi nodded. Running to Lenalee, they left t town. Only Kanda and Allen remain. "Where do you want to start?"

"You don't have to do this." Kanda shrug. "No. Seriously you don't." Kanda walk up to Allen and push the wheel chair. Entering the back of the hotel, there was a large empty space. "I want a walk." Stopping, Kanda narrow his eyes. He didn't understand why Allen wanted to walk. Seeing Allen push himself up, his legs stiffly moved. Kanda just slowly followed him.

"Don't push yourself." Kanda said after five minutes. Allen seems to breathing in shallowly. "Moyashi." Kanda quickly pull Allen back into his arms. Allen let out a small laugh.

"I'm pathetic. I couldn't even walk for ten minutes. More or less eight. Do you know why? My legs are weak now that I can't do anything to move them. And they are growing weaker. I wasn't like this three years ago. I use to play a lot of sports. And I walk everywhere I could. Even after a game. Even with how I look, everyone talk to me but after that, everything changed.

"Stupid moyashi. Why do you care about the past. At least you are still breathing." _Not for long. _Allen let out a bittersweet smile.

They just stayed there. Just like the park. Watching the sunset, the air slight cooled. No one walked to talk. Somehow they had a mutual understanding again. Everything that happen today was long forgotten. Kanda got up and looked at Allen.

"Let's go back before Komui gets mad at me for going out for so long." Pushing Allen back the way they walked. Allen just remained silent still. His breathing was shallow. If his eyes weren't open, Kanda would had thought he had fallen asleep again. The half moon barely lite the way back to the hotel. Only the small flash light that Allen remember, led the way. "Oi. Moyashi. Why are you quiet?"

"Are you mad at me?" Allen asks quietly. Mad? Why would he be mad? Hearing Allen cough a few times, he looks down on Allen.

"I'm not mad." Kanda stated. "Don't force yourself for tomorrow." Allen thought he heard wrong if it wasn't for Kanda looking away. Allen laughed. Kanda just remained indifferent and continue to push Allen, who was still laughing. When the laughter died down, the smile remains.

"Don't worry. I won't over push myself. I know Lavi, Lenalee and you will catch me if I know."

"Che. What are you talking about?" Kanda ask. Allen shrugged. "Don't count on me if you fall ill and have to be sent home." Allen chuckled.

"Don't act tough now." Allen says. Kanda didn't respond to him. Lifting the front of the wheel chair up so they can get up, Allen leaned back. "Do you think we can use the hot springs?" Kanda shrug. He didn't really care. Men in the same tub didn't really appeal to him. But for some reason he didn't want Allen to go either if they did. "Kanda. Why are you quiet now?" Finally opening the door, he stepped into the lobby. "Kanda….."

"Do you like me?" Allen shyly ask. Kanda sigh. Why is he asking another question like that. The question lingers in the air as they walk down the hall.

"Moyashi is moyashi. If I don't like you I wouldn't be here. Your rank is higher than the baka usage and that's saying something." Kanda explain shortly. The words didn't explain much but Allen took it even thought that wasn't what he meant. Letting Kanda pick up him, he sat down on the floor. "Do you want to go before everyone? I 'm sure they're eating dinner.

"Allen! Yu-chan! That's where you are. Dinner is served. Come on." Lavi doesn't wait for Allen to get up before he drags him up and out of the room.

"Baka Usagi. Stop. We just want to go the hot spring first." Allen explains quickly.

"Hot springs can't be used. That's in the other building. We can use it tomorrow I think. "Lavi explain.

"I just want to talk a bath then. I don't feel like having dinner." He softly pull himself away and walk to Kanda. "Let's go. Lavi tell them we back in thirty minutes."

Walking into the bathroom, Allen sat down quickly. His legs were weak again. He walked more today than in three months. Looking over to Kanda, he smiled. Kanda was already washing his hair. _Why am I so slow today? _

Stripping his shirt, he took off his pants soon after. Pushing himself up slowly, he walked over to the showers. His legs wobble as he continues to walk with the wall as support.

Kanda sigh as he sunk lower in the water. Allen was still washing him hair. He didn't want Kanda to see him when he was showering. Pulling his hair back, some of his bangs linger in the front. Kanda was staring at the boy. Allen was super skinny for a boy his age. You couldn't see his ribs but any farther you would. _Moyashi needs to eat more._ Looking away, Allen got up and sat a good distant from Kanda. His breaths were abnormal.

"Oi. Moyashi. Are you okay?" A small cough made Kanda move closer to him. "Moyashi." He repeated with the same calm voice. Allen sway back and forth a little and let a yawn before slipping into the water. "Allen!" Kanda quickly caught Allen's arm and pull him up.

"Sleepy." Allen mumbles. Pushing Kanda away, he tried to sleep again but sleeping in the water means drowning yourself. Kanda pull him up again and out of the water. Tears began to form in his eyes when he couldn't sleep. "Why aren't you letting me sleep?" His voice reverts to a three year old. It is childish and whiny. Picking Allen up, he took notice of his burnt arm.

"Stop thrashing." Kanda orders. Trying to get a robe or his shirt on, Allen didn't help much with all the movements. It was a little too big on him and hung past his thighs. His boxers were barely visible. 'Baka Moyashi."

"My…name…….isss…….Allen….." Allen's head bobble back and forth till it level foreword. Grumping, Kanda picked him up like a child. Allen unconsciously curl against Kanda again. His face was hidden n the cock of Kanda's neck. The shallow breathing told Kanda he was asleep again. When he got to the room it was still empty. Kanda quickly place the futon down with letting Allen go. Even if he wanted too, Allen clung onto him.

Laying down on the heavy blankets, Kanda undid his hair. He let if fall behind him gracefully. Then tie it in the back in a low ponytail. Getting up quickly he turned off the lights and peel Allen off so they slept in a different futon. _Why does he cling onto me_? Kanda thought. His mind went blank when he felt the familiar warm body hug him from behind.

Ooooooooooo

"Yu-chan!" The familiar annoying voice came into Kanda's ears. He wanted to trip the rabbit's lips off but the bookman wouldn't like it. Maybe he will earn some peace and quiet if he did. Two birds can get a benefit.

"Shut up baka usagi." Kanda groan. Getting up he remember Allen was next to him. "Oi. Moyashi." Shaking the young boy awake, Allen rolls over to the other side, to get more sleep. "Moyashi." Kanda growl again. Giving a sigh, he sat up and pulls himself onto his legs. "Usagi. You have the moyashi for the next hour. I need to change and breakfast. But it seems moyashi wants to stay here."

"I'm up." Allen groans. He isn't a morning person. His soft tenor voice was softer. Pushing himself up, his white hair was messy from moving around. Getting up, he lazily fold his futon away. His movements were sluggish. He only moved faster when Lavi force him to change quickly because time for breakfast was being lost.

"Moyashi-chan. Come on. There's only a half hour left before we have to go the bus." Lavi explain. His eyes caught Kanda walking into another room and begun eating. Coughing a little, Kanda look up to see it was Allen coughing. "Allen are you okay? Don't push yourself." Patting him on the back a little, Allen's coughing subsided.

"I'm not hungry Lavi."

"Coming from an empty less pit stomach makes me believe you are lying. You always eat a lot."

"I don' know. I'm not hungry. I guess my stomach is still getting use too of the air plane ride still." Allen says. It was a lie. Both knew it was but Lavi dropped it.

"fine but you need a big lunch later okay?" Allen nodded with a smile.

Loading onto the bus, everyone got in the same seats as yesterday. Only their atmosphere change. From tense to happy to a still waking up in the morning. Even with breakfast, everyone wanted to go back to sleep. The boys were thankful for last night too. Both Kanda and Allen were asleep so peacefully, they got some sleep too. They didn't want the same tension was yesterday. But Allen's coughing was heard every now and then.

"Allen-kun. Are you okay? You've been coughing a lot today."

"It's nothing." A cough interrupted him. "My lungs aren't use to the air here yet. I think it' clear and they are clearing it by coughing."

"I think you shouldn't be coming today. If you don't rest-"

"Lenalee, I'm fine." Allen reassures. Lenalee frown when Allen did that.

"Allen."

"I'm fine. The coughing is nothing. I didn't have a coughing fit for almost two weeks." He lied.

"That's what I'm worry about. The coughing fits. That it might a major attack this time. Just like that time. None of those medicines you have will help you if it is. I'm worry." Lenalee explain to Allen. One of these days, the medicine won't work anymore. She didn't want Allen to suffer anymore.

"Moyashi. Just be careful is all she saying." Kanda spoke. Allen turns to face Kanda.

"You have nothing to say. You only know the outside information. Nothing more, nothing less." Allen snaps. Lavi and Lenalee looked at each other. Allen rarely snaps at anymore. "I know I should be careful too Bakanda." Allen mumbles. "Unlike you, I can take care of myself." Kanda shrug knowing it's a lie. He could take care of himself but he isn't going to fight back in this useless fight.

The rest of the ride became louder within the bus. Kanda remain silent as Lenalee ramble on. The topic of the coughing was dropped. Kanda knew Allen wanted to cough a lot now but held back. The constant drinking of water proved it. His throat was probably dry now. Kanda didn't want to point it out now. Allen would be mad at him if he did. Allen wanted to go on this trip and Kanda will allow that. But why did he care if Allen was in good shape or not?

Arriving at the Kyoto museum entrance, Komui got up. Pulling everyone tickets out, he counted the students off by pairs. When he counted everyone, he nodded and picked up everything he has.

"Okay. We will be going in together. Lunch is at twelve p.m. No one can go off by themselves or in pairs before then. We will be leaving toward town at four thirty p.m. Everyone got that?" Groans were heard as they begun to get off the bus. The cold air smacks them in the face as they took the first step off. "Everyone follow the rules or you will get a weeks' worth of detention." Komui explain. Everyone just groan again and gather into their groups. Only Kanda and Allen stood off a few feet away.

"Moyashi. Are you still holding it back?" Allen remain quiet but pain was seen inside his eyes. "Oi. Moyashi." He rolls after the tour guide. Kanda follow along too. He didn't want Allen to overdo something. Allen continues to ignore the Asian. Allen didn't have anything to say, same goes with Kanda. After a hour without talking to each other, Allen turn to face Kanda.

"Kanda. Can we hang out by ourselves the rest of the day?" Allen asks in a whisper. His voice was horse compare to this morning.

"Do you want-" Allen didn't listen to him but dragged him away when Komui turn a corner. Kanda narrow his eyes as Allen acted out of character. He didn't pay attention to where they were going till Kanda stopped.

"What do you want Moyashi? For the past hour you wouldn't talk to me, now this." Kanda snap by accident making Allen flinch.

"I'm confused." Was all Allen says. "I don't know anything anymore." Coughing he pulled another water bottle out. Allen looked at Kanda soon after. "Since I got off the plane, I'm having this feeling of confusion. Even in my sleep."

"What are you talking about?" Kanda was getting confused too. Allen never acted like when he saw him. "Moyashi are you taking any new medication I don't know?" Allen let out a half-hearted laugh.

Allen got up and hugged Kanda. His forehead was against Kanda's chest. His legs limp as Kanda felt tears. _Why is he turning into an emotional train wreck now?_ Kanda thought. Placing his hand on Allen's check, he felt fire and quickly pulled away. _Damn it._ He cursed. Picking up the boy, Kanda knew he was half conscious now.

"wait. Nooo…." Was all he says before he his coughing attack hit him. Kanda bit his lip. _Fuck. I shouldn't have let him go. _

"Where's your medicine?"

"Back……with…..Komui-..sen…sai.." Allen said inbetween coughs. His hand covered his mouth. When he pulled it away, blood was seen. Kanda's eyes widen.

"Moyashi. Fuck. Why are you here if you are in pain?" Pushing Allen up so he could run, he ran back to the front desk, which seems like the other side of where they were. They were out of place and the loudest. The quiet museum was shaken by Kanda's growling and Allen's coughing. Kanda didn't care if his shirt was cover in blood now but if they could get the hospital. NOW.

"Call 119." Allen pull on Kanda's jacket and gave him a phone number on a sheet of paper. 075-xxx-xxxx. Eyeing Allen, he gave the lady the paper. She quickly call the number when she notice the situation.

"Allen. Kanda. There you are. The clas-" Komui stop when he saw the scene. "Allen-kun. This why shouldn't have came. Kanda did the doctor?" The lady nodded and gave him the phone.

"He's on right now." Komui nodded his thanks and grab the phone.

"yes we need an ambulance…….No…..I understand……….We come to you." Hanging up, the teacher drag the two students out for a cab. "kyoto's man hospital. Now." Komui order. Pulling the medicine out, Allen shook his head. "Eat it." Allen frown but he kept on coughing.

"The coughing should stop if you do. Stop struggling and making your fever got up moyashi." Kanda explain sternly. Allen didn't listen when Kanda try to force the medicine in his mouth. The blood was getting messier and breathing was shallower. _Why didn't he show it till now? I should have seen it when I woke up this morning. _

Arriving to the hospital, Kanda rush him in. But Allen didn't let go. He adamantly stay awake and held on. HE didn't want to leave Kanda for some reason and Kanda could see that. Placing his hand on the right check, he creased it.

"I'll be here. Just let them do their work." Allen nodded slowly and lay back down. Placing an oxygen mask on him, his coughing didn't subside till the place him to sleep. Even then the coughing was rough. Komui and Kanda were soon rushed out and place into the waiting room. They had begun to do more complex work.

In the waiting room, both Komui and Kanda calmed down. The two Asians rested on the cheers nearest to the room. Komui pull out a cell phone to dial Cross's number. Cross needed to know too. Looking back up, Kanda was pacing again. Back and forth. Uneasy and impatient.

"Kanda. Sit down. Nothing of that sort will bring Allen-kun out of that state."

"He has a fucking high fever and an attack." People stared at him for his cursing. "Damn it. I shouldn't had let him off and held it as a secret."

"Slip up?" Komui was confused. What slip up?

"The coughing fit in the bathroom in the airport. But I let it slip sine his coughing subsided after the medicine-"

"That's what the medicine is suppose to do. It helps clear the lungs and throat so it will be easier to breath. That's it. Allen needs it on regular bases now. He haven't taken one for two, now almost three weeks, without counting yesterday. He probably hid it from us." Komui explain. "Oh, good." Kanda could hear the gruff voice of Cross in the phone. "Good morning Cross." Komui answer. "yes its Allen……..I know…….I don't know….Maybe later but right now….." the rest of the conversation went as Komui explain the situation to Cross.

Kanda finally sat down when the clock turn eleven. His jaw is tight. It's been forty minutes. If this is nothing why is it taking forty minutes? Everything crashed into a wall when he saw blood. _No. He can't die. Not like Alma. _He was sitting in the living room but ran sll the way to the hospital when he heard Alma was shot. He barely made it when Alma was pull into the E.R. He didn't want the past to repeat what happen. No, that wasn't it. He didn't want Allen to die. Alma was dead already and Allen was alive. That was the major difference. But what was the insecure feeling.

"you can go see him now." The doctor says, cutting Komui from the phone call and Kanda from his thoughts. They didn't hear him walking up. Getting up, the boy have a weary look on them.

* * *

damn almost 6000 words....urg..my hands are falling apart....this chapter had alot of editing to it. over nine pages written(but nine pages typed) probably two pages full of revisions(front and back). man....wow...this is probably the longest chapter of this story.

also it's really funny that no one recongize what the titles connect too.

Breath into me  
shadow  
Lost

it's from a band.....guess..

Plz review. you have to have something to say with all of this fluff and action and misfortunt falling upon allen and kanda.

PLZ REVIEW....or Allen will just have one fate. DIE(mwhahahahaha) jk..i won't do that to my plz review.


	5. Nothing and Everything

Sorry for the late update ,...I didn't have this finish for a month. And its kind of short. I wish it was longer. My state and few others got hammer by that two snow storm so I went out and play(Yeah. I want snow but not anymore) and had an essay to write. URG. and other few personal problems when I got home. But I mange to get this done.

I have another story call. Hold On To Choices. Please give me your response on that too ^.^

I guess the last chapter was a big no no? O.o? No reaction? I gues this chapter is going to be a major no no.

Extra fact: I look up to see what Yu meant for unknown reasons. It meant gentle. XD. That made my day. Kanda, gentle?

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Chapter 5

Nothing and Everything

When Kanda saw Allen, he nearly froze in place. Allen was pale. More pale to put it in right terms. But he still have that striking beautiful look on him. Kanda knew it was wrong to think like that but he beautiful in this state. An oxygen mask is place on him to help Allen breath. On his arm, an IV is hooked up. The bloody face is cleaned off but Kanda could see how lonely he looked now.

"Mr. Walker could be transfer to the regular hospital. His fever is still high so you have to go by car. His lungs won't be able to go on the airplane. The progress of his condition is getting worse each day. He probably could finish this year only (four months?)." The doctors explain.

"I see. Can you transfer him tonight so his regular doctor can keep an eye on him. Kanda you will be staying here." Komui explain. The brown hair doctor nodded and place a note on that. "That is all. His guardian was notified too. Thank you for everything."

"Komui. Why can't I go with him?" Kanda ask once the doctor left.

"You have no need to go back Kanda. I doubt Allen would mind if he went home first." Komui explain.

_But I promise him I will be there though._

The words raced in his head. For some reason he wanted to follow that promise. "But-"

"There are no buts Kanda. Just hang out here and I talk with the doctors about this." Kanda frown but kept shut. He didn't want to break this promise. Komui wouldn't allow him to go back with Allen. He shouldn't care for the boy but he is. The reason for this trip was because of Allen.

(a week later)

Kanda slowly walk up the halls of the hospital. It's been a week since he last saw Allen. Three days for the trip and last four since he was "busy". He didn't bring anything but some food for Allen. He didn't know what to say yet either. Opening the door to the room, Allen was holding a book. Silver eyes read the words in the book quickly. The boy remained silent as Kanda walk in. The I.V. was still hooked up while a tube was hooked up so he could breathe without the mask. Allen casually closed the book he was reading.

"Moyashi." Allen still didn't look up. Kanda could see the glossy eyes. Sadness and betrayal went through them for a few seconds. "Sorry. I tried to come later but..." Just excuses. Both knew that they were merely excuses.

"You lied still." Allen finally spoke. _Don't tell me things you don't mean._ 'You could have call or send me a message." The heart reading beeps slightly went up. Kanda didn't want to be the reason of his heart rate being too high.

"I'm sorry." Kanda hated to say sorry. He rarely says it, but he needed too. "I have a question for you. Why did you force yourself?" Silence from Allen came.

"I wanted to spend time with you." The silence lingered again. It seems Allen had befriended with it. "I thought this person is someone I wouldn't fall in love with. But here I am, in love with that someone." Looking up to see Kanda, his eyes were calm. "Kanda. I really like you." The bomb was thrown. _No. No. No._ Kanda thought. "You don't have to answer me now. I know this won't last long but I really do like you."

"Moya-" Kanda tried to stop Allen from continuing but Allen did.

"Just think of the answer. Don't tell me now. You wanted to know my condition right?" Allen asks. Kanda did but why will Allen tell him now? "I have lung cancer. The doctors are still unsure if I had it for more than three years but that doesn't matter anymore. Three years ago is when they finally took notice of it. If you known me three years ago…. I was really different. I still have the same hair and scar and arm, but I use to play sports, a lot of sports in fact. I play tennis and soccer the most." Allen bluntly explains. Kanda remain silent. He knew Allen had something but cancer? Couldn't he get lungs transplant? But how was it caught too late? " Kanda. Even if you do date me, everything will go down the drain so I-" Kanda just ran out of the room.

He didn't bother to hear the rest. Right now he needed to have some time alone to think. Allen wanted to date him but he didn't know the answer. He would usually say no right off the bat. Kanda didn't care if that was cold. He just said no. But the word no couldn't be sad to Allen. Did he love him? Its confusing. Hate? If he did, why is he having a hard time saying no? He knew this was a futile attempt if he dated him. Both sides would get hurt. Kanda shut his heart to almost everyone once Alma died. Allen opened it up easily compare to Lenalee and Lavi. They just barely got the crack open. Allen was more than just mere classmate anymore.

Kanda didn't stop running till he was half way home. Everything was getting to complicated in his mind. All he knows is that he didn't want the same thing to happen to Allen as with Alma. To die. _Maybe I do love him? _Continuing to walk, Kanda let a frown appear again. The winter weather seems colder now after the hospital visit. When he first met Allen, he wanted to stay as far away as possible, but they clung instead. Kanda had firmly closed his door or so he thought. The day that they got their assignments had blended into weeks and months before they noticed. Going up to his room, he slam his door shut and locked it. Pulling out a piece of paper he began writing.

_````When I first meet Allen Walker, I thought I would hate him. He was too polite and very distant. Friends with Lenalee and Baka Usagi Lavi Bookman jr. His white hair stood out and he seems like the black sheep of everyone who use to be friends with lots of people. But now he doesn't. Broken maybe. Not only that he's in a wheel chair. Odd right? I didn't want to talk to him that much at first. Not because he was odd but because I just didn't want too. Talking to him didn't appeal to me. The first two weeks I didn't, not until moyashi came to ask to hang out._

_I agreed. I didn't have anything plan that day and I didn't have a reason to say no. I found out alot about him. Weird at first. Naive, innocent and kind of stupid. He's a moyashi too. But he seems calm most of the time. He thinks before he acts sometimes but sometimes he doesn't. And he has patience with baka Usagi. We saw part of a movie I didn't care about. All I remember is the fighting. Not just one fight but a lot. We fought over useless things. It kind of reminded me of Alma and I fighting._

_The funny thing is that the boy has a back bone. He's broken but he's staying strong. The repairs are slow and sloppy was well but they are healing. They are keeping him together too. I would rather not have hanged out with him but it was amusing. I wanted to protect him but I know he's strong. Sure I'm his partner but there's some distance between us. Allen has been recently.....```_

Kanda lifted his pen off the paper. Everything felt rushed. It was only one third of a page long. It was rather short for the past few weeks. Placing the pen down, his frown deepens. He wasn't good with likes or love. He was better with dislike and hate. Like before, he should have turn Allen down but his mouth remained still. His heart was still deciding and hesitating. Something it rarely does. Do I like him? Kanda couldn't say no or yes just yet. Picking his pen up, he place it back on the paper.

_I didn't know what to do so I try to get away. That didn't work. Allen just continues to come closer. You could say I didn't want him close. Alma did the same thing but I let him in. I don't regret that but I got hurt._ _I know people get hurt all the time but that's not what I am aiming for. I'm just one of them. In the end I hurt everyone too. _

_Never be the same._

Kanda looked outside to the rain. It was gentle still pallets.

_~"Kanda. Do you hate the rain?" Allen asks. They were at the park under the resting area. "I don't dislike the rain but I don't like it either. It comes and goes. I'm not talking about it in a nature sense but as a thing. If comes back without a pattern, shape or certain way."_

"_Che. I rather not be outside in the rain. How does this do anything with likes or dislikes?"_

"_Rain is like our spirits. They have a certain amount but they can change. Take Lavi for an example. Maybe he wasn't a red-head use to, but still has that carefree tone. Incarnation. Do you believe in that?" Kanda didn't know where this was going. Allen is comparing life to rain?_

"_Not really. I don't believe in many things if you want to know."_

"_Oh? What do you believe in then?" Kanda stared at Allen. What did he believe? Frowning he looked away. Allen let out a small chuckle. "You don't have to make one up. You may not know but you believe in many things."_

"_Che. Baka moyashi."_

"_Bakanda." Allen reported back. _~

Kanda pull the blinds shut. He didn't want to see or hear the rain. Turning the lights off, he went to bed from the confusing world.

------

"Yu. What are you doing?" Kanda look up to see Alma. The young boy was looking in the open window. "Do you want to go to town with me? Dad is going to buy something there." Kanda sigh.

"I can't." Kanda wave the homework in their faces. "Maybe I can come over later. In a few hours maybe?"

"That will be great! Then-"

"You can't copy anything." Alma let a small smile out. "No. Do your own homework." Kanda wouldn't be fooled. He known Alma for two years now and even as a child, they have homework. It's easier than middle scholar's homework but he still doesn't do them.

"Come on Yu. You know that you will." Hearing his name, he looks to see who it was. "Ah. I got to go. See you later Yu." Kanda sigh again. Why didn't he stop Alma from calling his name again? Right? He gave up on fighting against Alma.

A feeling smacked him in the face once he said good bye to Alma. Telling him to stall Alma just a little or he will regret it. Kanda didn't know why, getting up he looked outside to see him gone already. Shrugging the feeling off, he sat down again to finish his homework. The next fifteen minutes was filled with finishing the homework he had left. When he finished, Alma was in town by then. _Maybe I should have gone._ Kanda thought.

Walking into the living room, he turns on the TV. Going through the channels a few times he settles down. Hearing Daisya outside, he look to see what his older brother was doing. He is playing with a soccer ball. Unlike Marie, his brother upstairs is being quiet.

Everything is so peaceful. Alma should be on his way around town now and he would take twenty five minutes to walk. Ten if you ran, and five to drive there. The small town is spread out so it won't seem crowded but it isn't that spread out that they couldn't walk to anywhere. Hearing an ambulance and some police sirens, he looked outside again. Five cars pass their house in a hurry.

"Kanda." Tiedoll ran in. "Alma is in the hospital." Kanda narrow his yes. Why was Alma in the hospital? "There was a shooting. It seems one of the local teachers had a gun and decide to use it. Alma's parents are dead. Alma is still in the ER. Do you want me to-"

"It can't be. I told Alma that I was going to come over in a few hours." Running outside of the house, he ran up the dirt road to the hospital. This is the only one hospital and it's up the hill. Reaching the top, the white hospital had the ambulance that went past his house. Only one police car was there. His short pony tail went against him as he stops suddenly in the front door. Walking in, in haste, he looked around. His breathe erratic. "Where's Alma." A lady looks up from the desk.

"Kanda. Why are you here? Alma is being treated right now. You can't go in. Please don't distract anyone. Right now we have to get everything organizes." Kanda didn't listen to them as he barge into the hospital. Alma had blood all over his chest and some on his cheeks. His dark bangs stuck to his forehead. The doctors surrounded him, trying to get the bullet out.

"Alma." Alma open his eyes, forcing his head to look at Kanda, he let out a small smile. A bullet mark was near the heart and another one the heart.

"Kanda you have…"The nurse pulled him back.

"No." Kanda struggled against them. The beeping went fast than slower and slower. Doctors franticly try to keep his heart beat up. The nurse continue to pull him back as the beeping went to a total single note. Alma held his stare as he closed his eyes. "Alma! Wait! I can come over later. You have to be there!" A small smile was seen on Alma as Kanda was finally pulled away.

Force out of the room, Kanda try to fight back. Alma died so why are they still fighting for him to stop. He continues to push but the nurses firmly help him out of the room.

"Kanda." A nurse firmly says. She held him still. "Calm down. Alma died. We can't allow you to see him. You aren't family. His parents are dead but that means adults only now. Give us a few hours before you see him again. Okay?" Kanda didn't want to wait a few hours. A few hours mean he was supposed to be over at Alma's. Kanda remain still as they continue to talk. _So I should have gone with them? Maybe that wouldn't have happen if I stall them in time. Why did I?_

"Did they caught the one who did the shooting?" Kanda ask cutting the nurse.

"Not now Kanda. Right now the town is in chaos. We don't usually have a shooting here honey." Kanda didn't like that answer. And the worse honey. "The police probably have him locked up already." Kanda still didn't register anything that she said. But the news of Alma finally sank in. The world turn into quick sand and the walls closed in. Tears leaked out. "Kanda. Honey. What's wrong? Kanda whip his tears away but they continue.

-See Yu can cry like me.-

Kanda let out a laugh. That would what Alma would say.

-We will be together forever right Yu?-

Everything was crumbling around him. Alma is the only one who tried to be his best friend. _Maybe Alma is a real friend?_

"Kanda." The nurse call him again. Kanda look at them with a painfully sad expression. "I know it's hard for you since he's your best friend. But Alma would want you to be happy. I'm sorry he didn't plan to die this way either." Kanda just nodded. "Just go home for now. We contact your father for you and more of the adults." The young Asian didn't protest against the word father as he was lead out to a car. The last shinning light from Alma was imprinted in his mind.

Soon the next few months were minutes to him. The days of placing the man who did it into jail passed quickly. He became distant to everything. Out of touch. Just like before Alma came into the school. He is soon label as anti-social again.

"Yu" Kanda look up to see who is using his first name after all these months. It was a red head. Lavi Bookman Jr. "I'm going to be your friend."

---------

Kanda open his eyes. Blue eyes reflected the moon light. Sitting up, he sighed. _Damn it. I dreamt of that time again. _Kanda didn't want to remember that day again. Back then he didn't know 'love'. Now he does. Or so. Alma was out of his life within five minutes. –I know it won't be long but I really like you- Allen's word echo throughout the room. It was five days ago when those words came out. –I thought this person is someone I won't fall for. Now here I am in love with that someone."

_-Does Yu love Allen? - Lavi had asked Kanda the day after his hospital visit._

_-Kanda. You don't have to go out with Allen-kun. He just want an answer.-Lenalee told him. –He isn't forcing you to do anything._

Kanda let out a chuckle slip out. He know his answer already. Picking the pen up and turn his lights on he continue to write. The essay was already two pages long.

_I have fallen for him too._

Kanda place the pen down. He will write more later if needed. Now to think of it, Lenalee and Lavi are friends with Allen too. Both of them didn't want to see any of their friends hurt. Kanda knew how this will end up. Just like with Alma. It will be fresh salt on Alma's wounds. The pain will be felt by many people.

----

"Are you sure? Lavi ask for the hundredth time. From the news Friday, Lavi kept on asking till Saturday afternoon. "Yu." Kanda growls. Why did he tell him again?

"Baka Usagi. Shut your fucking mouth before I shove something down that throat to keep it silent." Lavi kept quiet now. "Now leave me alone. I'm going to tell moyashi." Ignoring Lavi's comments he continue up the hospital to Allen's room.

Opening the door, Allen is in the corner looking outside. The oxygen maks and I.v. were still connected to him. He looked better but still had that sick look on him. Tearing glaze from the outside to Kanda, his silver eyes turn glassy.

"Good afternoon Kanda." His voice sounded rough but had that sweet mixture in it. "It's been a week since I last saw you."

"I'm here to tell you something." Kanda cut straight to the point. There was no need for small chat. Allen walks over to Kanda with a smile. "Is that so? Please continue." Kanda grab Allen into a hug surprising him. "I want to protect you but you don't need a protector. I want to hold you but you seem out of reach. I don't want to get hurt but I'm going to anyways."

"Kanda. What are you trying to say?"

"I love you moyashi."

"Kanda. Please don't say that. I don't want-"

"This isn't by force moyashi. I'm choosing this myself." Allen didn't seem convince. Pushing himself away, Kanda held him still. "Moyashi." Allen didn't listen. "Allen." The boy stopped moving. His pale face was flush. "Allen. Listen." This time the boy listen. Tears seem to find his way on his face. "Why don't you trust me?" He rob his tears away.

"I don't know. I thought you would have told me no. I was so convinced."

"Why did you tell me that you did like me then?" Allen shrugs. Kanda frown. Allen looked at Kanda again but smile. "Answer the question moyashi."

"I wanted to cut all ties of that feeling." Allen explains. "But I guess you accept them." Kanda nodded.

"Yeah. I won't have thought I have fallen for a moyashi but I did." He didn't wait for another second to bring their lips together. Allen's heart monitar jumped and soon continue to beep. Pulling away, Kanda smirked. Allen just blushed.

"What the hell is going on?" The door slam open. Allen pull away to see Cross at the door. "Idiot son. Why is he here? Couldn't even take care of you." Grumping, he walk out of the room.

"Sorry about that." Allen says. "Kanda thank you." Kanda narrow his eyes. Why is he thanking him?

"Why are you thanking me?" Allen smiled again.

"You figure that out later." Kanda didn't push the matter anymore. Giving Allen into a kiss again, Allen's eyes brighten. Kanda knew this is the right choice. The presen will turn into the past and the future will turn into the present. Right now the past didn't matter and Allen is going to be his choice. The future will come later.

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more bad news ^.^. i'm a beta reader now. somehow i mange to sqeez this and that story done today. XD. and all of my unfinish homework.(cheers) I also feel like a fat ass today. I had two dinners ,...well one large dinner and fries and bread(to much food)

Well, I hope you like it. Please review. I don't know what I'm doing wrong if you don't review.


	6. Start Again

XD. A little early this time but I finished this before I got tons of homework I have a speech in English, two benchmarks recently for global studies and a project due this week. I just had a math test and starting a new unit that isn't relevant to real life but it's easy. And well science, science is just too easy.

Now I got time with another snow storm. urg...right now i hate snow. This chapter is short due to lack of time of writing.

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Chapter 6

Start Again

"Don't you have school?" Allen asks Kanda, interrupting his reading. Today Kanda is early on his visit. He visited Allen each day if he was allowed. Right after school or practice mostly. Both would try to do their homework. "Kanda." Allen says Kanda's name again. It was only 12 p.m. and it was a Friday. Not a Saturday.

"Does it matter?" Kanda asks Allen. The boy frowns. Kanda doesn't look up to see Allen but continues reading again. He didn't want to talk about it.

"Yes it does." Getting off the bed, he walks over to Kanda and pulls himself onto Kanda's lap. "Don't stop going to school Kanda. If you become a drop out, no one would like it, especially me." Kanda didn't pay attention. He held his glaze on the book. Allen tried to pull the book out of Kanda's hand but it was proved futile.

I will build a dream world for you with my music. In which your soul can live. I miss yours. When we were children we use to play in the snow. That is when you told me that you loved me. Died in my arms and left me alone. I didn't understand it at this time. I will create the perfect world for yours. I will work hard. I can still feel your spirit with me. I love you. –HristxValkyrie

Kanda looks up and slams the book shut with one hand. He didn't understand why these story though, a love story chosen by the girls. Looking away from Allen, he places the book down. He didn't want to think of a world without Allen right now. Not now, maybe when Allen is actually gone. "Moyashi not now." Allen frowns. "Maybe later." Later will be too late and both of them knew that.

"Don't ditch school anymore. Okay?" Allen didn't look away till Kanda gave him a yes.

"What are you going to do about the donor?" Kanda asks. Allen became tense. The topic was a touchy for Allen. The doctor gave the boy a choice and it might help him if it doesn't reject him. Kanda did want him to get it so he could live with him but if Allen didn't want it, he will just have to go with it. Allen intertwines into Kanda's fingers. The long wires didn't let him move any farther.

"Do you want me to get it?" The soft voice asks. Kanda wanted to tell Allen to get it, but that will mean Allen will have to eat medicine all the time and fear of rejection of the lungs. "Kanda?" Allen asks.

"If you want... This is your choice. I can't choose for you Moyashi." Allen squeezes Kanda's hand in their grip. He could tell Allen wanted him to choose. "I guess if I choose, it will be with the donor. I want to be with you as long as I can." Allen smiles sadly. It was a small one though.

"Will you be mad if I don't take the offer?" Kanda narrow his eyes. He wouldn't be mad. A bit sad? Yes. Who wouldn't be sad?

"Do you want me to be mad?" Kanda asks. Allen shook his head. Turning Allen's head to face him, he kissed Allen gently. "I won't then. This is your choice. If you don't, I'll be sad but I respect your choice. If you don't go with your choice, I will be mad."

"I don't want a donor." Allen hugged Kanda. His head lay on the juncture of the neck and shoulder. "I believe we should live with the same organs as the ones you are born with on this Earth. I don't know why but I just believe in that." His voice grew softer as he coughs slightly. Kanda picked him up properly and place him back on the bed. "Kanda are you mad?"

"No. I will if you keep asking. I'm going to bring you out. How long since you been outside?" Allen thought of the answer before he answered.

"Three weeks I think. It was cold when I came in here but the weather seems to be getting warmer." The room that Allen is in can see outside of the yard. Kanda wanted him to go outside at least. The cherry blossoms should be out.

"You have to go outside at least once a week." Pulling the wheel chair out, he place the I.V. next to him.

"Wait. Did the doctors tell you I can go out?" Allen asks. "It's really fine. Just open the window. I'm just happy to be with you," Kanda sigh but he continues on getting Allen in the wheel chair. "Kanda stop." He ignores Allen, once Allen is ready to go; he rolls him out of the room. The white hospital was calm today, no patients in need of major assistance, and no sick patients in dire need either. Rolling outside, the fresh spring air surrounded them in a swift manner, leaving no room to avoid the dancing flower petals. Going by the small lake, Allen looked up at Kanda quickly.

"Do you want to take me on a date?" Kanda turn to look at Allen. "Want to walk around the garden? As a date?" Kanda let a small chuckle out. Of course he would but would he say so? Taking Allen's hand, he pulls the boy up. Allen let a wide smile appear on his face. Their first date. "I guess this is our first date?" Kanda chuckle again as they began to walk.

"I guess." Kanda says. Tugging the wheel chair with them, his hand held Allen still. It was a nice first date. Walking around the pond, Allen pulls them down to a bench. Leaning his head on the older shoulder, his hand squeezed Kanda's. If the snapshot could have been taken for this moment to be remember later in life. The wind slowly whistles, ruffling their hair slightly. They stayed like that for a long time. Both of them didn't need anything else. When the sun emits an orange ray, Kanda turn his attention to Allen only to find the boy asleep. Letting a small sigh, he picked the boy up and left to return to the room. Placing the fragile boy under the covers, he creases the cheek.

"Don't be like Alma." Rubbing his cheeks, Allen leans toward the hand like a cat. Pulling away, Allen snuggles into the blanket.

----------

"Ka…Kan…..Kannnn…Kanda!" The world began to shake around him. "Yu-Yuuu!!!!" Kanda open his eyes to see who is calling him. Allen's silver eyes met Kanda's. "It's time for you to go home. It's eleven. You have practice tomorrow morning too." Kanda just gave a small nod. Getting up he grab his bag and pulled Allen into a quick kiss. Allen recoil for a moment making Kanda confused. "Who's Alma?" Kanda sigh again.

"Just a childhood friend, I really cared a lot about. He died at a really young age so I was sad about the loss of him." Kanda explains. Allen's eye glitter of jealousy. "Don't worry. I love you. I choose you over him, not because he's dead. Now get some more sleep. Allen I belong to you too." Allen's eyes widen and let a small nod. "If Alma is still alive, I will choose you okay?" Allen nodded again. "Then, what's wrong?" Allen cringes. Looking away, Kanda ruffle his hair.

"Kanda I love you." Kanda made a 'hmp' in acknowledgement. Picking his bag up, Allen let go off his hand. "See you later."

"Kanda don't ditch. And good luck at your competition tomorrow. I wish I could go." Kanda just nod and began to walk out. Tomorrow he wouldn't be able to visit due to that competition. He wishes he could have skipped the Kendo match but Allen wouldn't let him. If he did, Allen said he won't forgive Kanda.

Kanda sigh. The days with Allen past by so fast, too fast to Kanda's liking. Time is already pushing them along even if they wanted to stay still. The end of the school year is at the corner already too. If the doctors are right, they don't have a lot of time left. Kanda didn't want to remember that. Maybe reality could hit him hard. Just like Alma.

Climbing the stairs to his room, Maria stood by his door way.

"Kanda. Were you at Allen again?" Maria asks. "You know your time is counting down? I don't want you to be closed off from the world again once Allen dies." Kanda walks past Maria to his room. Of course he knew this. The lock will be back on after Allen's death, tighter than before as well. No one wants that.

"I know." Kanda says. "but I want this." Closing the door the bedroom, the long night continued.

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Major fluff but it has some information you need for later chapters. don't worry. It's all connected.

Plz review. It seems everyone liked the last chapter but that is the onlly time when I was able to get everyone to review.


	7. Ordinary World

Well, I know this is a really really short chapter. Maybe just one page. But I really wanted to give you one before my hetic scedule really pull me down from everything. Also once I get Why Can't School Teach Love? up again, I will try to get that back on track meaning this will be on the second on the list instead. XP

Well I hope you enjoy it.: Sorry for bad grammar, well more grammar mistake in here. I just typed it without actually looking at it. I know I;m going to regret it but right now i'm typing this aganist the race of time and i'm trying really hard to finish this before I go leave for my show.

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Pieces Chapter 7

Ordinary World

Kanda pull his bag onto his shoulder. Today is the competition. The day before went by too fast. Just like the other days. He wanted to forfeit the competition but Allen knew about his reputation as a kendo player. He didn't want to ruin it, even if he wanted him next to him all the time. "I want you to be happy even after I die." , was his reason. No one will be happy if someone you love dies.

"Yu-chan!!!" Lavi jumped on Kanda without bothering to look at his kendo bag.

"Don't call me by my name baka usagi." Kanda mutter. Lavi smile and climbed off the man and turn to face him.

"I'm here to watch you in Allen's place. Lenalee is there taking your place." Lavi explains. Pulling his hair back, he flings his arm around Kanda's neck, which Kanda push Lavi off. "Aw, someone mad that he can't spend time with his boyfriend? I can understand –not really- but with girlfriends I can."

"Shut up." Slamming Lavi away, Kanda continue to the building where the event is held. "Moyashi's place can't be taken up so easily." Walking up the stairs, Kanda wanted to turn back around. Kanda didn't pay attention to Lavi. Not for one second, till Lavi started talking about how Allen could be cute sometimes. Not only that, Lavi went to a whole speech of why he should take care of Allen, much to Kanda's annoyance. He knows. Nothing could get more annoying to state what you know.

"I know!" Kanda snap. Lavi shut his mouth. His narrow red eyes stared at Kanda.

"Yuu-chan, you know that Allen can protect himself. But that's still not enough." Lavi explains. Turning the corner of the bland building, Kanda didn't turn to face the red-head. Why should he? "Kanda. Do you still love Alma?" Kanda growls at the name of Alma. Why bring Alma into this now? It's been so long since Alma died. Kanda finally let go of his death.

"No. Don't call me by my first name. Alma is not in the place of 'love' if you are looking at that. Stop annoying me. If you want to talk to me about Moyashi, I already know."

"Do you?" Lavi asks. He turns to face Kanda. His red blazing eyes dim against Kanda with a gentle glaze. "It's going to hurt later in life." Kanda shrug.

"I bet it will. Now stop talking. I don't want to hear you fucking voice anymore." Kanda says. Going into the locker room, he began to change into his uniform. The quicker he could get his match done then he can get back to Allen.

"Staying Allen like that won't help you. When he's gone, what you going to do? You're going to get use to of Allen being right there whenever you can have him. "Kanda stared back at Lavi. That's how couples are. That's why break ups can be tough. You are so use to them, that it felt awkward without them.

"Mind your own business." Slamming Lavi out of the locker room, the red head sigh. The time is almost up and everything is ready for it. Ready to take all the emotion and pain that they will feel, but even so, it might not be enough. All they need to do is waiting and hope that the time will be held on longer than the string of time intended to be cut.

Kanda covered his face and step onto the mat. It was his time for his competition. He didn't find a reason to do this anymore. All his time is concerning about Allen. When did he fall in love with him? Why did he fall in love with him? Kanda chuckle, he didn't know. If anyone asks the same thing about Alma, it probably will be the same. Turning his head, the stupid idiot was waving his hand at him. Franticly like something was wrong. Ignoring the bunny, Kanda turns to face his opponent.

-Go Kanda!-

_Call me Yu, Moyashi._ Kanda quickly dodge his opponent attacks. The matches aren't that long. Quickly getting his opponent, he got off the mat without the announcer announcing who was the winner.

"Kanda. It's Allen." Lavi called to Kanda. Pulling the Asian out of the room, Kanda narrow his eyes.

"What do you mean baka usagi?"

"He got another attack."

* * *

Fluff again and mostly filler. but cliff hanger ending. oh well. I got nothing plan and this just banged into my head. It's near it's ending so maybe three more chapters?

I have a question:

_**Do you want me to have a twitter or formspring?**_ I don't mind if i get one but if no one really wants to stalk me I don't need it. So _**REVIEW**_ for it. and well tell me. If you don't well, I probably won't have the next chapter up for two months maybe(just maybe)


	8. QUESTION AND RESPOND

I have a question…A big question.

Do you want a bittersweet ending(I have one plan) or a happy ending?

Edit: I took down the ending. Sorry for not informing a lot of you guys. I delete the ending for some reasons.

1) I hate it.

2)I could have written a better ending and I'm planning to change it whenever I can. I already know how the ending I want goes. So it's all up to me to type it.

3)I don't believe in happy endings. I really don't. As I grew up, I realize the world doesn't just give out happy endings. We have to fight and get that ending. So in the end it's still bittersweet and not just happy.

Sorry for the short-notice...


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